NAPERVILLE, IL–“I don’t have cancer,” declared Reggie convincingly. Just one in a trio of suspicious claims including “I’ve seen Eminem twice in concert” and the particularly braggadocious “I won my eighth grade spelling bee.” After nearly three decades in the game, Reggie Baker was an undefeated ‘Two Truths And A Lie’ player, and this match was primed to be his best yet.

Ted was quick to point out that he and Reggie had seen Eminem twice together, validating the first of three statements. Others were quick to confirm Ted’s assertion, citing Reggie’s obnoxious Instagram stories featuring entire songs from Eminem’s live shows. Scattered groans followed as Candy recounted Reggie’s particularly annoying rapping, which could be heard over most of the recordings.

Suddenly, the game seemed won when Katie declared victory hers at the eighth grade spelling bee. Reggie protested almost instantly, starting with a vicious character assassination of 13-year-old Katie and culminating in a championship round re-enactment spelling of the word ‘rehearsal’. They launched into heated debate for more than an hour, neither relinquishing their championship or willing to accept the other’s pronunciation of ‘GIF’, before Ted reminded the group that Reggie and Katie went to different junior high schools. Reggie hadn’t been lying about the spelling bee after all. He had won.

Reggie Baker remained undefeated.