‘Okay, so you took over Afghanistan’ Shania Twain Not Impressed By Taliban

CORSEAUX, SWITZERLAND–Speaking candidly from her Swiss home, Shania Twain did exactly what everyone had been waiting for her to do: weigh in on the situation in Afghanistan. To nobody’s surprise, Shania came out fully against the Taliban’s invasion and takeover of the presidential palace in Kabul.

“Okay, so you took over Afghanistan. That don’t impress me much,” Shania explained with expert callback to her own discography. “I don’t like them, honestly. The Taliban. Not Cool. Where I come from, the killing and stuff, that’s so not cool. Especially against women. Man, I feel like a woman!” she finished, with yet another reference to her music.

Twain had been on the verge of cancellation by a Twitter brigade patiently awaiting her response to the situation unfolding. “If Shania won’t use her platform to call out injustices like terrorism, then she doesn’t deserve to have that platform,” Twitter user, @das_booty69420 informed us in a DM exchange. “I had a deep fake video at the ready with Shania saying she hates Afghans, which, even though she didn’t literally say it, is basically what she’d be saying with silence.”

In the end, Shania rose to the occasion. Terrorism cancelled.