WASHINGTON, D.C.–Due to the ongoing and increasing unrest related to the Taliban takeover in Afghanistan, many are fleeing the country with some Afghan refugees now seeking haven in the United States. In a united front, members of the GOP have come forward to express total opposition to this migration, citing the safety of Americans and their rights. However, their criticisms did not come without a solution, resolving to build a brand new wall spanning the length of the United States-Afghanistan shared border.
“It’s brilliant. I can’t remember who suggested it first, maybe it was Boebert,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of the decision. “We’ve got swarms of Afghan illegal immigrants crossing over the border with absolutely no regard for our American rights. You’ll start seeing them taking our jobs. Then they’ll take our guns. Before you even know it, they’ll be eating our Kentucky Fried Chicken. They can have Popeyes, just keep KFC American! What I mean to convey is, if we don’t start drawing the lines now, then we’ll have lost this war before it even started.”
The move is expected to receive overwhelming resistance from their Democratic counterparts, but some Republicans have indicated a willingness to legalize marijuana federally should the border wall with Afghanistan be given the green light — and the wall with Mexico, too.