Guard Dog Takes Labor Day Off, Wakes To Find Entire Family Slaughtered, Toys Missing

CHICAGO, IL–In the spirit of Labor Day weekend, every laborer is entitled to a good rest, even dogs. After not taking a day off since she moved in, Mutton Chomps, a Chicago-based mutt, thought she deserved a day of rest for once. Mutton is a vicious guard dog, known throughout her neighborhood as “the faulty alarm” for her insistence at barking at anything and seemingly nothing at all.

Had Mutton been on duty, she surely would have noticed the gang of escaped murder convicts that invaded their home on Monday morning. While Mutton recovered from a Sunday barking fit brought on by a balloon in the neighbor’s backyard, her entire family was getting murdered for reasons unclear.

When Mutton awoke, she quickly noted her dead owners, whose limbs had been spread out across the living room. After the shock from that image subsided, Mutton gave the rest of the property a thorough examination, finding nothing missing or otherwise suspicious. Understandably, Mutton was still a little shaken, so she decided that a quick playtime might make her feel better about the murders. That’s when Mutton noticed all her toys were missing. Without a second to spare, Mutton called the police.