Woman Impressed By Implications Of Date’s Athlete’s Foot

DALLAS, TX–Cassie Dalrymple is no rookie to the dating game. Now approaching 30, she’s grown increasingly frustrated with the assortment of men she’s gone out with over the years, and most never make it past the first date these days. Cassie feels there’s no time to waste anymore, so if she doesn’t hit it off with a guy by the end of the night, she gives him the axe and moves on to the next one.

Following a string of unsuccessful Tinder and Bumble dates, Cassie recently decided to disconnect from the apps altogether and accept her friend’s standing invitation to set her up on a blind date. So, without any prior knowledge of the guy, Cassie met up with a man named Ulysses at a swank wine bar in downtown Dallas. First impressions are critical, and things got off to a rocky start with Ulysses.

During introductions, Cassie learned that Ulysses works as a brand ambassador for Oakley sunglasses. “I thought, okay, he’s 35 now, and that’s a dead-end job. Like, I’m not a gold digger, but is it too much to ask for a salary?” said Cassie of her brutal initial thoughts. “I was disgusted with his hygiene. He wore flip flops to a wine bar,” Cassie continued with her criticisms. “And I noticed some fungus on his foot. It was gross until I realized it was athlete’s foot, and athletes are hot. So, we’re gonna keep dating now.”

Cassie and Ulysses would date for 5 weeks — her longest relationship in more than five years. Unfortunately, things ended messily after Cassie saw Ulysses try and fail to throw a football.