ARLINGTON, VA–Roger and Bianca Griffiths are preparing to celebrate the sixth Christmas with their daughter, Emilia. Their sweet daughter is an absolute angel, and the Griffiths want to reward her with whatever presents she wants this season. As the old song and dance goes, they encouraged Emilia to write a letter to Santa Claus outlining what she wants for Christmas and telling him whether she’s been naughty or nice this year.

The letter started out innocently enough when Roger and Bianca read it over in secret. Emilia listed out her Christmas wish list, featuring “Nintendo Switch, candy gummy lab, Mario Kart for Nintendo Switch, kewl sunglasses, hockey puck,” and so on. Her requests seemed reasonable enough to both parents. As an Ivy League-educated, two-income household, the Griffiths can afford to spoil their princess just a little.

However, as the letter moved past Emilia’s wish list, things took a wrong turn. Emilia candidly shared an honest evaluation of whether she had been naughty or nice. “There is no reason to lie to you, Mr. Claus. I have done some bad things this year. You probably know all about them, but I wanted you to hear it from me. I steal cookies,” Roger chuckled to Bianca after reading that one — how cute. But the letter continued, “every day from Ryan Desmond. He knows to give over the cookies, or I’ll kick the pulp out of him,” Bianca interjected after this, mentioning that they should probably have a talk with her about that. Still, it’s not that bad. So, they continued reading, “I jaywalk every single time I cross the street. I don’t even look both ways. And, I vandalized the YMCA. Every day, I steal Slim Jim from the 7/11. Also, it was me who peed in the pool at Kairo’s birthday party, and I stole his mom’s car keys.” The list went on, and the Griffiths grew more appalled with each new revelation.

“When did Emilia learn petty theft? There are at least six misdemeanors in here,” an astonished Roger exclaimed after finishing the letter. He and Bianca shared a long conversation about what course of action to take. They both agreed that whatever they do, Emilia must not know they read her letter because it’s meant for Santa’s eyes only. The couple also asserted that Emilia deserved credit for telling the truth to Santa. By the end of the conversation, Roger and Bianca had concluded that these things tend to work themselves out. They’ll pretend it didn’t happen and get Emilia everything on her list.