CINCINNATI, OH–Milton Herrera is a hustler through and through. Since dropping out of business school nine years ago, Milton has tried his hand at numerous entrepreneurial ventures and investment opportunities. These ventures include a lemonade stand, motivational speaking, eBay resale, drop shipping, a chauffeur service, writing essays for high school students, adult modeling, and a potato-based food truck concept that never quite materialized. To date, Milton’s lifetime earnings exceed $9,000, and he shows no sign of slowing down.

Lately, Milton has set his sights on non-fungible tokens, or NFTs. He’s been researching the NFT phenomenon for months and mapping out his entry into the market. People have made millions on these things, and Milton knows this stuff is easy money. The only problem is his lacking of funds needed to invest in NFTs.

Following the failure of his potato food truck attempt, Milton is strapped for cash. He’s living with his parents again, plotting his next big investment haul. Frankly, Milton is growing impatient with being broke, and he’s ready to shoot his shot. His sights are set on a debut NFT from his fourth-favorite YouTuber, Mark Demarcus. The non-fungible token, called Nutsack Coin, has become notorious for an aggressive advertising effort carried out over the last few months.

Many say Nutsack Coin is a scam through and through, but Milton knows otherwise. He trusts Mark Demarcus, and that’s why he’s stolen his mom’s gold jewelry and pawned it for cash to go big on Nutsack Coin. “NFTs are fucking legit, and they’re here to stay. My philosophy is just to get your hands on any NFT you can afford, and that shit appreciates overnight. They can’t teach you that in business school,” Milton boldly shared on Reddit’s r/investing forum. “That’s why I couldn’t sit back and wait to make money of my own to invest. I had to pawn my mom’s crap. She never wears that jewelry. She won’t find out. Plus, I’ll pay Mom back tenfold when these NFTs start selling.”

But Milton’s mom wasn’t so enthusiastic when she found her jewelry missing. On a call from his irate mother, Milton pleaded, “I’m sorry about the gold, Mom, but these NFTs — it’ll be worth its weight in gold! Give it a little time, and I’ll be so rich, Mom. None of us will ever have to work another day in our lives. You’ll finally be able to take that trip to Salt Lake City you’ve always dreamt of.” The argument continued for the next hour, and, despite Milton’s insistence, his mom refused to come around on the investment. In the end, it didn’t matter if his mother saw eye to eye with him. The sale is final, and what’s done is done. Milton is the proud owner of $10,000 worth of Nutsack Coin.