BOSTON, MA–Samantha Wesley went hard at the 4/20 party last night. She doesn’t smoke often, but she sure has a good time when she does. Last night she consumed a wicked weed cocktail, including a smoked blunt, space cake, dab hit, and an unknown number of bong rips believed to be in the double digits. Samantha was stoned out of her gourd.

At some point during the party, Samantha meandered over to a group of strangers playing NBA2k22 in a backroom. While waiting to redeem her next-up claim, an epiphany came over her. “It was a once-in-a-lifetime business idea. They type of concept that can’t fail. The type of shit they can’t teach you in business school. It’s intangible,” Samantha mumbled to her sister over the phone the next day. Her high hadn’t quite worn off yet. “You don’t understand, Chloe. That idea is my ticket out of this dump.”

But the more Samantha talked about her lottery ticket business plan, the more she couldn’t remember. In fact, none of the details seemed certain anymore. “Was it something to do with couch cushions? Maybe an original streaming platform idea? Or did I invent a brand new Doritos flavor?” Samantha remains stumped. She called in sick to work today in an attempt to hammer out the details of her big entrepreneurial debut.

Until then, Samantha works at Arby’s Wednesday-Sunday most weeks. Catch her before she’s big.