‘Where Was The FBI When Hillary Was President?’ Asks Woman With Vague Understanding Of What Election Results Mean

DALLAS, TX–When Evelyn and Cody started dating, they agreed never to let politics get between them. That was five years ago, and this arrangement is probably the only reason their relationship has survived. Cody is a democrat, and Evelyn is a card-carrying republican. They survived an election, an attempted coup, a pandemic, and numerous other politically charged events. Evelyn and Cody are both very outspoken about their views online and in their social circles, but they know how to reel it in around each other.

The recent FBI raid of Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago property is where Evelyn finally drew the line. When Cody returned home early morning from a night of heavy drinking, she decided to unload a can of worms. “Where was the FBI when Hillary was president?” asked Evelyn, confronting Cody from the staircase, thwarting his attempt to tiptoe inside quietly. He was barely coherent, so they agreed to put off this talk until he could get some coffee.

“Where was the FBI when Hillary was president?” Evelyn echoed her earlier question as soon as they sat with lattes at a local coffee shop. Cody was blindsided and far too drunk to follow. “This has never happened to an American president before. It’s completely unprecedented. Why didn’t the FBI raid Hillary’s emails when she was president? Riddle me that, Cody. This was a political hit from the start. I have it on good authority that Anderson Cooper is behind this somehow.”

Cody was speechless. He couldn’t believe what he heard from Evelyn’s mouth. Cody was aware of their political differences, but he was blindsided by how unhinged his girlfriend was. Still, as he mentally prepared a rebuttal, knowing it could create an irreparable rift between them, Cody remembered how hot Evelyn is. He didn’t want to jeopardize having a hot girlfriend. “Good points,” Cody responded after getting scolded for ten minutes. “I agree.”

They’re still going strong.