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Category Archive: Local

Early Favorite Emerges In Neighborhood’s Scariest Haunted House Competition

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YORBA LINDA, CA–Halloween in this Orange County neighborhood is a big deal. Each October, inhabitants of the gated […]

October 8, 2022 Local

‘Going Out Of Business’ Reads Recently Repurposed ‘Check Us Out On Facebook!’ Sign In Store Window

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OAKLAND, CA–Dale Frampton finally pulled the plug on his fifteen-year-old office supply store last week. The business began […]

September 7, 2022 Local

Dad Assures Family He’ll Be Able To Stay Awake Through Entire 178-Minute Viewing Of ‘Braveheart’

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SAINT PAUL, MN–Cody Feldspar really felt the love on Father’s Day this year. His wife Fiona and two […]

June 19, 2022 Lifestyle, Local

Parents Of College Graduate Bemoan Commencement Speaker’s Politicization Of Ceremony For Suggesting That COVID-19 Actually Happened

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FRESNO, CA–Maggie Bedrosian is not the first in her family to graduate college, but she is the first […]

June 12, 2022 Lifestyle, Local, Politics

Scrupulous Hiring Manager Suspects ‘Passion For Excel’ Described In Applicant’s Cover Letter Might Be Overstated

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DALLAS, TX–Dante Abramo takes pride in his job as the hiring manager for a digital marketing agency. As […]

June 8, 2022 Local

‘Here For A Good Time, Not A Long Time,’ Stoned Man Reassures Himself Before Bypassing ‘Let Stand For Five Minutes’ Step On Frozen Pizza Box

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DENVER, CO–The phrase ‘carpe diem’ has never been lost on Trent Willits. After losing both his parents in […]

June 3, 2022 Lifestyle, Local

Court Rules Dog Who Sits Without Being Asked Now Legally Entitled To Owner’s BLT

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WASHINGTON, D.C.–The Supreme Court of the United States is making headlines again with their latest ruling. Backtracking on […]

May 24, 2022 Local

Nobody Acknowledged On High School’s ‘Notable Alumni’ Page Graduated

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MILWAUKEE, WI–Ryan Braun Memorial High School has earned a respected reputation in Milwaukee-area education. With an impressive cumulative […]

May 10, 2022 Local

With 35th Birthday Approaching, Former On-Again, Off-Again Honor Roll Student Ponders Run At President

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DETROIT, MI–Ryan Ekwonu was something of a gifted child. He wasn’t quite a savant or anything of that […]

April 29, 2022 Local

Grandma’s Attempt At Sarcasm Written Off As Senility

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ORLANDO, FL–Visiting Grandma Valentina has become something of a chore for the three Espinosa grandkids. Ever since Nate, […]

April 23, 2022 Lifestyle, Local

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