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Category Archive: Local

‘It’s Missing Something’: Woman’s Underwhelming Everything Bagel Sheds Light On Rest Of Her Unfulfilled Life

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SEATTLE, WA–Chelsea Rivers had big plans in life. From a young age, she knew she was going places. […]

March 12, 2022 Food, Lifestyle, Local

Unfaithful Dog Clearly Prefers Smell Of Your Sister’s Crotch

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LANSING, MI–Dan the Dog is in hot water this morning. Last night, his owner, Miranda, hosted her sister, […]

March 9, 2022 Local

Gas Shortage Solved? Man With Dislocated Finger Can’t Stop Farting After ‘Pull My Finger’ Joke Backfires

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LOS ANGELES, CA–Andrew Dillard is a relentless prankster. At any given moment, he’s got a whoopee cushion, fake […]

March 8, 2022 Local, U.S.

Depressed Guy Hits Rock Bottom On Slide 68 Of ‘What Happened To The Cast Of Hannah Montana’

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA–Liam Albrecht is supposed to be looking for a job. He’s been unemployed since getting dropped […]

March 4, 2022 Entertainment, Local

‘It’s A Figure Of Speech,’ Claims Intern Attempting To Walk Back Threat Made To Defile Every Fish In Boss’ Aquarium

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CHARLESTON, SC–Everyone at the Selby Digital Advertising Company has been at their wit’s end ever since returning to […]

March 1, 2022 Local

Christmas Eve Mass Finally Ends

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SOUTH BEND, IN–The hostage situation at Saint Thomas Aquinas Parish has finally been resolved. What started as a […]

March 1, 2022 Local

Ohio Man With 11% Ukrainian Ancestry Finally Breaks Silence on Russia Conflict

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AKRON, OH–With bad blood between Ukraine and Russia intensifying in recent weeks, confusion regarding the whole situation is […]

February 21, 2022 Local, World

Obscure Kid’s Popularity Soars After Mom Hooks Him Up With McDonald’s For School Lunch

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ST. PAUL, MN–Hardly anybody at Highland Junior High School has heard the name Chandler DeMauricio, let alone know […]

February 17, 2022 Local

Miscue While Scanning Doritos At The Self-Checkout Thwarts Introvert’s Plan To Talk With Nobody

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STAMFORD, CT–Peace and quiet is all TJ Singh wants out of his downtime. Five days a week, he […]

February 16, 2022 Local

Small Talk With New Co-Worker Quickly Exposes Her Belief That Ashton Kutcher Probably Drinks Baby Blood

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LOS ANGELES, CA–Amy Zhou has always been a considerate co-worker. She knows what it’s like to not have […]

February 16, 2022 Entertainment, Lifestyle, Local

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