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Category Archive: Local

‘Beggars Can’t Be Choosers’ Declares Man Generously Donating His Incomplete Candyland Set To Children’s Hospital

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TACOMA, WA–Franklin Ferguson is a hard-working, 9-5 grinder with barely enough time for himself most days. But that […]

September 16, 2021 Lifestyle, Local

Terrifying New Halloween Maze Takes Participants Through American Healthcare System

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UNIVERSAL CITY, CA–There’s always news scares when Universal Studios Hollywood’s annual Halloween Horror Nights returns and 2021 is no exception. […]

September 14, 2021 Lifestyle, Local

Adding Oat Milk To Junk Food Haul Enough To Resurrect Cashier’s Opinion Of Woman

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HERSHEY, PA–Kelly De Luca knew precisely what she was getting her ass into when she arrived at Wegmans […]

September 9, 2021 Lifestyle, Local

Record Store Clerk Berates Woman For Suggesting ‘Stacy’s Mom’ Is A Blink-182 Song

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MADISON, WI–Matias Guerrero does not mess around when it comes to his passion for music. He doesn’t make […]

September 8, 2021 Local

‘A Fraud! She’s Born In Boise!’ Ohio Centenarian Was Only 99 At Time Of Death, Sparking Uproar

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TOLEDO, OH–Hundreds of Toledo residents took to the streets to protest the centenarian designation awarded to recently deceased […]

September 7, 2021 Local

Guard Dog Takes Labor Day Off, Wakes To Find Entire Family Slaughtered, Toys Missing

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CHICAGO, IL–In the spirit of Labor Day weekend, every laborer is entitled to a good rest, even dogs. […]

September 6, 2021 Local

‘I Have A Girlfriend, She Goes To A Different School’ Claims Surge With Return Of Distance Learning

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HONOLULU, HI–As COVID-19 infections soar, many schools have temporarily reverted to distance-based learning to mitigate health risks. With […]

September 4, 2021 Lifestyle, Local

Results Driven, Social Media Savvy Rock Star Passionate About Customer Service With 10 Years Experience Seeks Entry-Level Role

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ANYWHERE, USA–When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, there were professional casualties left and right. Lenny Lieberman and his rock […]

August 30, 2021 Lifestyle, Local

Team ‘Anti-Sacks’ Optimistic About Fantasy Football Season After Snagging Kirk Cousins In First Round

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN–With a draft strategy best described as ‘two birds, one stone’, Minnesota native Petey O’Hearn exited his […]

August 29, 2021 Local, Sports

DeSantis: CDC ‘Conveniently’ Not Reporting Shark Attack Contributions To Rising Florida Hospitalizations

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NEW SMYRNA BEACH, FL–The COVID-19 pandemic has brought on many a terrible thing, but perhaps none more horrific […]

August 26, 2021 Local, Politics, U.S.

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