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‘Greatest Country In The World,’ Declares Guy Who Tried To Overthrow It Last Year

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FORT WORTH, TX–Brett Federline is a patriot among patriots. He drives a pickup truck with three American flags […]

July 4, 2022 Lifestyle, Politics, U.S.

Time Capsule Buried By Founding Fathers Reveals Unexpectedly Accurate Prediction For Future Of Guns, Warning About Fidget Spinners

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PHILADELPHIA, PA–Construction workers building an expansion Wendy’s franchise downtown discovered something eye-opening on Thursday morning. While digging up […]

May 27, 2022 Politics, U.S.

GOP Officials Remind Public That Times Of Tragedy Are Not The Time To Do Anything About It

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UVALDE, TX–In the wake of yet another elementary school mass shooting, a supergroup of Texas officials, including Governor […]

May 25, 2022 Politics, U.S.

Justice Alito Doubles Down On Decision To Overturn Roe v. Wade With Experimental New ‘Addition By Subtraction’ Theory On Freedom

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WASHINGTON, D.C.–Following the leak of an upcoming decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court has been […]

May 4, 2022 Politics, U.S.

‘That’s A True Story?’ Asks Lauren Boebert After Quietly Watching ‘National Treasure’ From The Doorway For The Last Hour

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WASHINGTON, D.C.–Following a controversial showing at President Biden’s State of the Union address, Rep. Lauren Boebert had herself […]

March 3, 2022 Entertainment, Lifestyle, Politics

As Covid Mandates Fade, This Patriot Recalls Exact Moment She Decided Never To Wash Her Hands Again

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LITTLE ROCK, AR–Ophelia Carter bleeds red, white, and blue. She also sneezes red, white, and blue, farts it, […]

February 24, 2022 Politics, U.S.

Small Talk With New Co-Worker Quickly Exposes Her Belief That Ashton Kutcher Probably Drinks Baby Blood

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LOS ANGELES, CA–Amy Zhou has always been a considerate co-worker. She knows what it’s like to not have […]

February 16, 2022 Entertainment, Lifestyle, Local

Nancy Pelosi Erases Congressional Reelection Concerns With Vow To Bridge The Gap Between Money And Politics

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WASHINGTON, D.C.–Nancy Pelosi sent shockwaves on Tuesday following the announcement of her intention to seek reelection in California’s […]

January 26, 2022 Politics, U.S.

‘Did You Try Benadryl?’: Insurance Claims Rep Troubleshoots Cancer Treatments They Are Actually Willing To Cover

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OAKLAND, CA–“Heroes work here.” That’s what Kelsey McAuley repeats to herself in the mirror every morning. She works […]

January 19, 2022 Local

Tucker Carlson Confesses He Doesn’t Know What Adjectives Do After Airing ‘Sexy Extremist Pandas Born At Leftist Tokyo Zoo’ Segment

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NEW YORK, NY–The news media titan and self-proclaimed man of the people, Tucker Carlson, proved even he is […]

January 12, 2022 Entertainment, Politics

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