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‘Here For A Good Time, Not A Long Time,’ Stoned Man Reassures Himself Before Bypassing ‘Let Stand For Five Minutes’ Step On Frozen Pizza Box

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DENVER, CO–The phrase ‘carpe diem’ has never been lost on Trent Willits. After losing both his parents in […]

June 3, 2022 Lifestyle, Local

Court Rules Dog Who Sits Without Being Asked Now Legally Entitled To Owner’s BLT

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WASHINGTON, D.C.–The Supreme Court of the United States is making headlines again with their latest ruling. Backtracking on […]

May 24, 2022 Local

Nobody Acknowledged On High School’s ‘Notable Alumni’ Page Graduated

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MILWAUKEE, WI–Ryan Braun Memorial High School has earned a respected reputation in Milwaukee-area education. With an impressive cumulative […]

May 10, 2022 Local

With 35th Birthday Approaching, Former On-Again, Off-Again Honor Roll Student Ponders Run At President

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DETROIT, MI–Ryan Ekwonu was something of a gifted child. He wasn’t quite a savant or anything of that […]

April 29, 2022 Local

In Effort To Encourage Free Speech, Twitter Will No Longer Count Racial Slurs Toward Character Limit

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SANTA MONICA, CA–Radical change is on the way at Twitter. Following an announcement Monday that Elon Musk’s $44 […]

April 26, 2022 Politics, Technology

Grandma’s Attempt At Sarcasm Written Off As Senility

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ORLANDO, FL–Visiting Grandma Valentina has become something of a chore for the three Espinosa grandkids. Ever since Nate, […]

April 23, 2022 Lifestyle, Local

Easter Brunch Attendees Walking On Eggshells Around Pent-Up Cousin Who Gave Up Talking Politics For Lent

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BOULDER, CO–Easter Sunday is the only time of year the entire Powell extended family gets together. Over the […]

April 17, 2022 Lifestyle

Truck Driver Gridlocked At Texas Border Too Bored To Bother Skipping Acoustic Cover Of Song He’s Been Meaning To Delete From Playlist

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PHARR, TX–Following Gov. Greg Abbott’s controversial new border inspection order, frustrations are beginning to mount at the Texas-Mexico […]

April 14, 2022 Politics, U.S.

Full-Bladdered Hunter Biden Surveys Coffee Shop For A Friendly Face To Keep An Eye On His Laptop

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MALIBU, CA–Even Sundays are workdays for Hunter Biden. As a successful attorney, international businessman, husband, Naval officer, and […]

April 11, 2022 Lifestyle, Politics, U.S.

‘It’ll Be Worth Its Weight In Gold!’ Insists Hustler Who Pawned Mom’s Gold To Buy NFTs From A YouTuber

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CINCINNATI, OH–Milton Herrera is a hustler through and through. Since dropping out of business school nine years ago, […]

April 6, 2022 Lifestyle, Local

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