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Politics

Justice Alito Doubles Down On Decision To Overturn Roe v. Wade With Experimental New ‘Addition By Subtraction’ Theory On Freedom

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WASHINGTON, D.C.–Following the leak of an upcoming decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court has been […]

May 4, 2022 Politics, U.S.

Mitt Romney Lashes Out Against Student Loan Forgiveness, Suggests Subsidized Laptop Batteries Instead

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WASHINTON, D.C.–This past week, President Biden and other Democrats renewed pressure for student loan forgiveness. As of January […]

May 2, 2022 Politics, U.S.

Easter Brunch Attendees Walking On Eggshells Around Pent-Up Cousin Who Gave Up Talking Politics For Lent

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BOULDER, CO–Easter Sunday is the only time of year the entire Powell extended family gets together. Over the […]

April 17, 2022 Lifestyle

‘That’s A True Story?’ Asks Lauren Boebert After Quietly Watching ‘National Treasure’ From The Doorway For The Last Hour

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WASHINGTON, D.C.–Following a controversial showing at President Biden’s State of the Union address, Rep. Lauren Boebert had herself […]

March 3, 2022 Entertainment, Lifestyle, Politics

‘It Made More Sense When Donald Trump Said It,’ Explains Woman Struggling To Articulate Her Newfound Support For Putin

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SAN ANTONIO, TX–Every time Susan and Vanessa get together, conversations inevitably turn political. It’s usually not much of […]

February 25, 2022 Politics, U.S.

As Covid Mandates Fade, This Patriot Recalls Exact Moment She Decided Never To Wash Her Hands Again

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LITTLE ROCK, AR–Ophelia Carter bleeds red, white, and blue. She also sneezes red, white, and blue, farts it, […]

February 24, 2022 Politics, U.S.

Biden Studying 1980 ‘Miracle On Ice’ Game Tape For Tips On Defeating The Russians

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WASHINGTON, D.C.–The world has a predicament on its hands. With Vladimir Putin moving forward with plans to invade […]

February 22, 2022 Sports, U.S., World

Small Talk With New Co-Worker Quickly Exposes Her Belief That Ashton Kutcher Probably Drinks Baby Blood

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LOS ANGELES, CA–Amy Zhou has always been a considerate co-worker. She knows what it’s like to not have […]

February 16, 2022 Entertainment, Lifestyle, Local

Joe Rogan Threatens To Pull Out From Spotify If They Don’t Remove Alex Jones From His Living Room

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AUSTIN, TX–Spotify finds itself firmly at the center of a controversy-crossroad. In protest of the misinformation perpetuated by The […]

January 29, 2022 Entertainment, Politics, Technology

Nancy Pelosi Erases Congressional Reelection Concerns With Vow To Bridge The Gap Between Money And Politics

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WASHINGTON, D.C.–Nancy Pelosi sent shockwaves on Tuesday following the announcement of her intention to seek reelection in California’s […]

January 26, 2022 Politics, U.S.

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